Why me?

If anyone throughout all time had the right to ask this question, it has to be Mary. It’s only been a couple years since her parents passed away, she’s been raised in the Temple where her uncle Zacharias serves (probably didn’t have a playground or a PS4), and now she’s been betrothed to a great guy, a faithful and righteous man named Joseph (the Saint part comes later). And now as everything in her life is finally starting to settle and become normal, the Archangel Gabriel visits her with the message:

“Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great”

Wait...what? Seriously? So...pregnancy outside of marriage (Leviticus isn’t so kind about that), and let’s be honest, what kind of guy is going to believe and stick around for this (oh there’s that Saint part).

Why does poor humble St. Mary have to suffer? Why do the innocent suffer? Mary had every right to ask, “Why me?” But her question isn’t exasperation, it’s a understandably curious “How?” And the answer she’s given is very simple “with God all things are possible”, and with great humility and trust in her heart, her next thought is “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”

I know you’ve been there, maybe you’re there right now. Maybe you’ve had a rough week, a rough month, a rough year. Why me? Maybe you just celebrated your first Thanksgiving without your mom, your dad, your appacha, your ammachi, your best friend. Why me? Maybe you’re about to hit finals and you are struggling, with grades, with direction, with motivation, with friends, with that thing you don’t want your parents to know about. Why me? Maybe work is hell, maybe home is hell, maybe your heart is hell? Why me?

Why do the innocent suffer? Why does God lead us through darkness? Especially when it gets tough, nobody likes to fumble around in the darkness, nobody likes the fear of uncertainty. I know you don’t understand, neither did St Mary. But, in her confusion, in her anxiety, she steps out in faith and says “Let it be to me according to your word.”

Why does God lead us through darkness? Maybe you need to stop focusing on the darkness and start focusing on the words “God lead us.” God will never forsake you. He is leading you, because He loves you and is committed to you. You don’t always need to know where, or how to get there, or even how you are going to get through this (Mary didn’t understand the “How?” either), all you need to focus on is Who is leading. All you have to do is put your hope in God and take refuge in Him. He will take care of all of the details. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”^[1] (God wrote those words for you)

You don’t even need to know the words to say because Jesus provides them for you. “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Every day of the week, every hour of the day, Thy will be done.

There is nothing that you will go through that God won’t help you get through. All you have to do is close your eyes, listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit, and “walk by faith, not by sight.”[2]


Questions for Meditation:

1. How many words are in the Lord’s Prayer (Our Father…)?

2. Did you just count?

3. Is that the slowest you’ve said those words all week? Don’t they sound a ton better when you say them slowly?